I have a challenge for you. Most of the strongest men I know, the biggest military leaders, political heads, coolest blokes, would refuse. They'd leave this email to rot and ignore me, or talk to me with condemnation. But I know you're different. Don't prove me wrong.
The Challenge:
1. Say the rosary--say the rosary every morning. It should take about 15 minutes at the most. You just need to say one rosary every day, focus on the Mysteries, the words of each prayer. There is a set of mysteries to say every day: Luminous on Thursdays, Joyful on Mondays and Saturdays, Sorrowful on Tuesdays and Fridays, Glorious on Sundays and Wednesdays. Saying the rosary not only helps your soul, or someone else's, but it also helps you relax and open your heart to God.
2. Go to Confession--Get in a state of grace. It's so important that you go to the priest that you can't believe how important it is.
In a face-to-face encounter: Approach the priest with "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." Try to know an Act of Contrition, but if you can't remember, tell him--be humble and just say "I don't know how to do this"--and he'll probably help you through it. Confess from big to small sins, even the tiny things. HERE (http://www.scborromeo.org/confess.htm) is a good examination of conscience. It will help you. Here is another (http://www.beginningcatholic.com/catholic-examination-of-conscience.html) You have a right to have a behind-the-screen confession, if it helps you. I know that sometimes going to Confession is harder than stepping onto any battle field on earth. You should know the truth about it, however: You are in the midst of a spiritual war for your soul and for all the souls that either side can capture. It's up to you to decide your fate, and your greatest weapons are these, the Sacraments! The Sacrament of Confession and Eucharist are at the top, so use them!
3. Say the Chaplet of Divine Mercy--Did you know that if you say the Chaplet in the presence of someone dying, they'll immediately go to heaven when they die? Ticket straight out of purgatory! Also, if you say this faithfully as much as possible, you can get out of purgatory as well. It's good for them, it's good for you, and it'll make you feel better.
4. Watch the Passion of the Christ
5. Go to Adoration--sit or kneel in the pews and look up at Christ. Pray as hard as you can, but know that IN FRONT OF YOU IS THE SIGN YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
Chaplet of Divine Mercy (http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm)
Sacrament of Confession (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11618c.htm)
Mysteries of the Rosary (http://www.catholic.org/clife/prayers/mystery.php)
On Suffering:
1) most basically, it's in the Divine Plan, and God's ways are above our ways
2) He allows things to happen because we choose to let them happen. Adam and Eve proved this for us, and when they fell our entire world fell--and the world was made Good, so when Evil entered it it rocked upon its very foundations, and continues to.
4) Our world is fallen more than ever. Abortion, euthenasia, promiscuity, just plain idiocy and sinister actions--they all have an effect on the fate of the world. By promoting Good, things will get better.
5) A few sayings: No pain, no game. No suffering, no glory. No cross, no crown. Suffering opens two paths for us: You either glorify God, or you abandon Him. In times of suffering, either you turn to God for help, or you turn away and say that it's all His fault.
To sum it up--all in all, it's our free will that's screwing us up--and we're the ones saying to God, "Leave us alone, we can work it out by ourselves!!" and God, taking us at our word (for He is a loving God and will listen to us) has stepped back. And in the void of Good, what comes in? Evil.
Your Sign from God:
The Eucharist is Jesus' Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity. And do you know the truth of what he had to go through for that to be there for you? Have you ever thought of what Jesus had on his shoulders? He had the entire WORLD, every individual person, from the beginning of time to the end of it--millions and billions of years worth of people, he had all of their souls on the line. Their lives. While he was completely divine--he was also human. Completely human. He despaired, just as you do. He knows, better than me, better than anyone, what you are going through. "Let this cup pass me by" !! He sweated blood. He was betrayed by someone he'd traveled with for so long a time. His very own friends left him in the moment of need, they fled and hid. John, and his mother were the only ones by his side.
You say you want something humble. You want a sign. You want something to show that the person who you believe in is not noble. What is more noble than being humble? You must remember that He is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the King of Glory. He. Is. God.
However, He is a humble King, a Good Shepherd, and the Lamb of God. The Jews thought the Messiah would come riding in on a horse and overthrow all their enemies and the Romans and all that. And yet Jesus came riding in on a donkey, and was brought like a lamb to the slaughter, and crucified.
You want something humble--watch Passion of the Christ. See what crucifixion really was like, and how Jesus could have come down from the Cross, could have avoided it, if he wished. But he didn't.
Satan is proud, and tries to mimic God's glory. He tries to be like the Most High, and pretends to be glorious. Vision of St. Martin: One day the saint beheld in his cell, surrounded by a dazzling light, a young man clad in a royal garment, his head encircled by a diadem. St. Martin was silent in surprise. "Recognize," said the apparition to St. Martin, "him whom thou seest. I am Christ about to descend upon earth but I wished first to show myself to you." St. Martin made no reply. "Martin," continued the apparition, "why dost thou hesitate to believe when thou seest? I am Christ." Then said Martin: "The Lord Jesus did not say that he would return in purple and with a crown. I will not recognize my Savior unless I see Him as He suffered, with the stigmata and the cross." Satan then vanished.
Lastly... You might think you can't get more humble than being crucified, but **Jesus** can. He appears to us in the unobtrusive appearance of Bread and Wine, Body sacrificed and Blood shed for us. He lets himself be insulted and abused by those who don't know any better, and know better but want to cause scandal or commit sacrilege. He does this because he loves us. He bore the weight of the world on his shoulders--the sinful lives of millions from the creation of Man to the end of Time, every soul's stains were brought onto him.
And you ask for a sign! You are blind. But the lepers can leap, the mute will sing, and the blind will see if you let God into your heart. You have free will...use it, rightly, and open yourself to the grace of God's forgiveness, mercy, love and justice. For He is the Way, the Truth and the Light--what more can you ask for?
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